I wanted to address some of the thoughtful comments on the post below:

Hmmm. Bad service aside, I’m not sure I’d want the manager to chastise them in front of non-employees. Perhaps something should have been said, but it shouldn’t be because of the language they used. It used to make me uncomfortable when people spoke in different languages, but I wouldn’t have them stop just for me. What if they were having a non-hostile conversation but still frequently used the N-word? Should the manager have interjected then? What if they weren’t employees but fellow students sitting at a nearby table?

Language aside, I primarily wanted the manager to come and control what was an unacceptable altercation between employees. The behavior exhibited by these two should be unacceptable in any line of work. In this case, had both employees never uttered the word “nigger” I would have still been incredulous that no one on staff batted an eyelash as these two screamed at one another.

Language not aside, the word nigger ( I will be coming up first in a search for the word in Google after this post) is also tossed around playfully between the staff at the dining hall. While I am personally disappointed (for reasons I will explain below), I do not necessarily expect the manager to intervene or otherwise reprimand her employees.

It sucks but this is part of accepting people who are different. Although I wasn’t raised to use the N-word, I know that some people will never rise to my level of preferred etiquette. Similarly, I’d prefer to use whatever fork I please to eat my salad, or to hang pictures at something other than eye level. Some people use the N-word regularly. The 18 year old girls from Larchmont either already know or need to learn that at some point. Hopefully, they’ll also have the opportunity to interact with black people who don’t use the N-word.

While I completely agree with the underlying sentiment here, that we should be sensitive to other people’s cultures, belief systems, preferences etc., I believe that using the word nigger (regardless of one’s race) has a social context/history/stigma attached to it that far outweighs one’s choice of a fork or the preferred height of a hanging picture. It also outweighs the use of most profanity. Many argue that blacks have reengineered the word nigger, taken the sting out of it. I believe that no matter how well black folks appropriate the word, blunt the sharp edge of it, take ownership, change its meaning - it will never (well I cannot say never) exist purely in the realm of personal preference in the ways analogized above.

I realize upon re-reading my thoughts in the post below that the issue I took with two black men calling each other “niggas” (with malice) in front of “18 year old white girls from Larchmont” was my personal issue. Of course white folks from the suburbs know the word. And I think they should. I was personally upset because far from an educational experience or cultural sensitivity training, this episode cast these two, specifically, but I fear black folks more generally, in a bad light. Everyone in line walked away shaking their heads in disbelief. Who knows what they took away from the experience, but I doubt they went home and rationalized the behavior as somehow acceptable because of cultural differences that they couldn’t question or judge.

On a completely different note, the comments to my post earlier raised an interesting point. Most white people stick their head in the sand at the first sign of the word “nigger.” I am sure a majority just flinched as they read the last sentence. Interestingly, there are over 10 comments to my post below and not one person used the word “nigger” expressly. I wonder if we haven’t lost sight of the goal. Society has taught white folks that it is a word they cannot use. Perhaps more importantly, society has taught white folks that they cannot hold an opinion on its use by black folks. I think this is unhealthy. I find some uses of the word more insulting than others. For instance, I would prefer that Kerene feel comfortable using the word as we discuss its significance (and Kerene, I cannot thank you enough for your comments). I also prefer that non of my friends, regardless of race, refer to another human being as a nigger. We seem to have found ourselves in a world where certain people can use the word in any manner they want (whether derisively or lovingly), while others cannot use it even to express their distaste for the word. That seems bass ackwards somehow.

** Update** There is a bit of quoted profanity below.

I admit it. Despite my age, I opted to go with the meal plan this year. I can actually cook, but moving from a 3 story house to a room the size a closet, trading in my queen-size bed for a twin (extra long though) and having a kitchen that is directly opposite the bathroom made me second guess whether I would ever cook this year. I knew that if I didn’t cook I would eat out every day and that I would waste too much money. So I chose to get one of those plans where I can eat 14 meals a week in any of the dining halls on campus.

It is actually a wonderful moment or two of solitude every day as I escape law school and walk a block to the dining hall and eat alone with my paper. But I have become quite distressed with a particular issue as of late.

The service at this particular dining hall (there are 12 scattered throughtout the village) has become sub-optimal. Don’t get me wrong, the food is fresh when they have it… but come on. Is it too much to want milk with my cereal. Why are you looking like I just asked you to bake me a cake from scratch? If you close at 8:00 and I show up at 7:50, I expect there to be food. Tonight, the entress were gone. Now mind you, if they had been devoured by hungry students, that would be one thing. They were just put away. The salad bar only had crotouns and onions left. The guy cleaning the salad bar had already wrapped everything else up. I went to the grill and my man was like Hey Big Man! I got grilled cheese and veggie burgers. Tell you what! I give you one of each. You know I look out for you!

Look out for me? I am trying to make a meal out of grilled cheese and veggie burgers and corn flakes (sans milk) and you think you are hooking me up? As I approach the soup (they haven’t snatched it away yet…) the grill guy shouts Big Man! That soup is tiiiggght tonight. Chicken noodle!. And don’t get me wrong because the grill guy is the only cool guy in the place.

**Clang**

I look around and the entree guy is throwing his spatula, hard, into the sink. The following dialogue ensues between the entree guy and the sandwich guy:

Entree: Look nigga… I do all the work around hear and you don’t do shit!

Sandwich: Fuck you nigga. Who covered the line why your broke ass was on break.

Entree: You ain’t shit nigga. Let me see your ass outside. See what happens.

So, this continues while I am waiting for my grilled cheese. And the sad thing is, the manager of the whole joint didn’t intervene, didn’t say a word, didn’t care. You could hear this argument in every corner of the dining hall and the manager just - didn’t - care.

Now personally, I hate to see black folks call each other nigger. Its worse when its done in front of 18 year old white girls from Larchmont. I also don’t want to be subjected to it while I eat. I am sure that the NYU administration would never settle for such treatment if they ate in the dining hall, but they let their students suffer through it everyday. Hospitality Aramark style.

I paid a ton of money for this meal plan. I don’t expect the Shangrila, but a decent quiet meal where I have a choice of food and no one verbally abuses anyone and no one makes me feel like I am asking for favors is all I ask.

So, I haven’t waded into the fray with regard to this whole grade discussion.

But this just takes the cake.

Well done Carey. This is what I want our corner of the blogosphere to be. Let the good times begin.

Update: I do agree with Heidi however that good grades aren’t the key to being remembered by professors (see her comments underneath Carey’s post). I don’t even think it increases one’s access to professors. I suppose that if one felt uncomfortable approaching a professor unless their grades were up to snuff, it would impede access, but that is a confidence issue. Of course students have to perform decently or a professor won’t serve as a recommendation later. But as far as mentoring/guidance goes, if one makes an effort to engage a professor in conversation and isn’t a total dumb dumb, professor’s will usually go out of their way to help their students out when they can.

This week has been… tough.

My roomate looked at me last night and said:

You know… it’s weird. You have actually been working really hard this week…

He is used to my procrastination, late nights and general scatter-brained nature by now. I think my organized fury of activity scared him a bit.

I will be taking a brief break from blogging to focus on securing a job for the summer. I will be back to posting regularly on Wednesday, January 28.

It looks like Blogger.com has just enabled a new syndication service… If someone wishes to utilize such a service, will you let me know if it works? Thanks.

I missed my last Administrative & Regulatory State class, so you can imagine my surprise when my classmate started class with the following comment:

I was thinking last night that those with money would simply collect pinkies as a sign of wealth… The wealthy would start wearing ostentacious “pinky furs”

Another class mate followed that comment with this:

And we also need to consider the stigma that would be attached to “fake pinkies”

I thought I was in bizarro world until I got grounded and realized we had discussed a market in body parts last class…

Update! Wait a cotton-pickin’ minute! I am in bizarro land… we were discussing a market it body parts?!?!?

I rarely read footnotes. Too often they are filled with extra information that diverts me from the main thrust of the material. However, as I was reading my property assignment, I hit a particular section of text that had me quite confused. As I sat there, struggling to understand the authors use of the word “externalities,” or his main point for that matter, I noticed the footnote. It read:

If you find this paragraph and the three that follow it difficult, skip ahead to the Note on “Externalities” on page 48, then return to the Demsetz essay.–Eds.

Wow. I thought it quite unlawyerly like to be so empathetic. But not only did the footnote comprehend my confusion, but it showed me the light… the path to understanding. Last semster the damn footnote would have said, If you do not understand this you are a sorry sap and should consider leaving law school.

Nice…

CNN is reporting that Kerry is walking away with Iowa. Oh dear… he really laid the lumber to Dean. And I may not have been paying attention, but did Edwards come out of nowhere to grab 32%?

Via Trish.

Anyway… The ones I have seen are in bold. I intend to see the rest of the movies on this list by the end of the year.

1. The Godfather (1972)
2. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
3. The Godfather: Part II (1974)
4. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
5. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
6. Casablanca (1942)
7. Schindler’s List (1993)
8. Shichinin no samurai (1954)
9. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
10. Citizen Kane (1941)
11. Star Wars (1977)
12. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)
13. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
14. Rear Window (1954)
15. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
16. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
17. Memento (2000)
18. Usual Suspects, The (1995)
19. Pulp Fiction (1994)
20. North by Northwest (1959)
21. Le Fabuleux destin d’Amelie Poulain (2001)
22. Psycho (1960)
23. 12 Angry Men (1957)
24. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
25. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
26. Il Buono, il brutto, il cattivo (1966)
27. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
28. Goodfellas (1990)
29. American Beauty (1999)
30. Vertigo (1958)
31. Sunset Blvd. (1950)
32. The Pianist (2002)
33. The Matrix (1999)
34. Apocalypse Now (1979)
35. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
36. Some Like It Hot (1959)
37. Taxi Driver (1976)
38. Paths of Glory (1957)
39. The Third Man (1949)
40. C’era una volta il West (1968)
41. Fight Club (1999)
42. Das Boot (1981)
43. Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001) (Spirited Away)
44. Double Indemnity (1944)
45. L.A. Confidential (1997)
46. Chinatown (1974)
47. Singin’ in the Rain (1952)
48. Requiem for a Dream (2000)
49. The Maltese Falcon (1941)
50. M (1931)
51. All About Eve (1950)
52. The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
53. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
54. Se7en (1995)
55. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
56. Cidade de Deus (2002)
57. Raging Bull (1980)
58. The Wizard of Oz (1939)
59. Rashomon (1950)
60. The Sting (1973)
61. American History X (1998)
62. Alien (1979)
63. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
64. Leon (The Professional) (1994)
65. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
66. La Vita Bella (1997) (Life Is Beautiful)
67. Touch of Evil (1958)
68. The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
69. Wo hu cang long (2000) (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon)
70. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
71. The Great Escape (1963)
72. A Clockwork Orange (1971)
73. Reservoir Dogs (1992)
74. Annie Hall (1977)
75. Amadeus (1984)
76. Jaws (1975)
77. Ran (1985)
78. On the Waterfront (1954)
79. Modern Times (1936)
80. High Noon (1952)
81. Braveheart (1995)
82. The Apartment (1960)
83. The Sixth Sense (1999)
84. Fargo (1996)
85. Aliens (1986)
86. The Shining (1980)
87. Blade Runner (1982)
88. Strangers on a Train (1951)
89. Duck Soup (1933)
90. Metropolis (1927)
91. Finding Nemo (2003)
92. Donnie Darko (2001)
93. Toy Story 2 (1999)
94. The Princess Bride (1987)
95. The General (1927)
96. City Lights (1931)
97. Lola rennt (1998) (Run Lola Run)
98. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
99. Notorious (1946)
100. Det Sjunde inseglet (1957)

You know, I filled this thing out thinking it had to be the new AFI list. It isn’t. I wonder where this is from… And I think the hierarchy is wrong (Manchurian Candidate is so much better, in all aspects, than Memento).

And how did they leave off E.T.?

A visitor made a comment about the post below, indicating that I clearly hadn’t taken copyright law… she is correct. Can anybody who HAS taken copyright law advise me on the proper thing to do here? Do I need to add commentary? Include just an excerpt? Link to the page where I got it? Thanks.

A funny aside, I think Stephen Dunn would get a kick out of the idea of online “poem piracy.”

I wanted to excerpt this, but it felt wrong to give you only a piece.

The Vanishings
Stephen Dunn

One day it will vanish,
how you felt when you were overwhelmed
by her, soaping each other in the shower,
or when you heard the news
of his death, there in the T-Bone diner
on Queens Boulevard amid the shouts
of short-order cooks, Armenian, oblivious.
One day one thing and then a dear other
will blur and though they won’t be lost
they won’t mean as much,
that motorcycle ride on the dirt road
to the deserted beach near Cadiz,
the Guardia mistaking you for a drug-runner,
his machine gun in your belly—
already history now, merely your history,
which means everything to you.
You strain to bring back
your mother’s face and full body
before her illness, the arc and tenor
of family dinners, the mysteries
of radio, and Charlie Collins,
eight years old, inviting you
to his house to see the largest turd
that had ever come from him, unflushed.
One day there’ll be almost nothing
except what you’ve written down,
then only what you’ve written down well,
then little of that.
The march on Washington in ‘68
where you hoped to change the world
and meet beautiful, sensitive women
is choreography now, cops on horses,
everyone backing off, stepping forward.
The exam you stole and put back unseen
has become one of your stories,
overtold, tainted with charm.
All of it, anyway, will go the way of icebergs
come summer, the small chunks floating
in the Adriatic until they’re only water,
pure, and someone taking sad pride
that he can swim in it, numbly.
For you, though, loss, almost painless,
that Senior Prom at the Latin Quarter—
Count Basie and Sarah Vaughan, and you
just interested in your date’s cleavage
and staying out all night at Jones Beach,
the small dune fires fueled by driftwood.
You can’t remember a riff or a song,
and your date’s a woman now, married,
has had sex as you have
some few thousand times, good sex
and forgettable sex, even boring sex,
oh you never could have imagined
back then with the waves crashing
what the body could erase.
It’s vanishing as you speak, the soul-grit,
the story-fodder,
everything you retrieve is your past,
everything you let go
goes to memory’s out-box, open on all sides,
in cahoots with thin air.
The jobs you didn’t get vanish like scabs.
Her good-bye, causing the phone to slip
from your hand, doesn’t hurt anymore,
too much doesn’t hurt anymore,
not even that hint of your father, ghost-thumping
on your roof in Spain, hurts anymore.
You understand and therefore hate
because you hate the passivity of understanding
that your worst rage and finest
private gesture will flatten and collapse
into history, become invisible
like defeats inside houses. Then something happens
(it is happening) which won’t vanish fast enough,
your voice fails, chokes to silence;
hurt (how could you have forgotten?) hurts.
Every other truth in the world, out of respect,
slides over, makes room for its superior.

To the s/he that made the comment regarding applying to law school… Please email me and I’d be happy to write you about the application process.

That is all.

Can I just get a quick show of hands if you are a:

1. In law school, and
2. In a pre-law school life you were a technologist

Heidi and Transmogriflaw, consider yourself already counted.

I am beginning to apply for jobs for this summer (Trish sufficiently scared me into gear).

A quick question. When applying to firms, is it okay to send an email to the hiring director with my resume, writing sample, etc attached. Or is the legal profession still sufficiently formal that I have to get fancy, heavy, off-white paper and print, envelope stamp and send my materials?

If it is appropriate, should I send a hard copy along as well? Or is that just confusing? I hate to waste trees, time and money when I can have my resume in their hands in matter of seconds. I also imagine that it is easier to distribute to the appropriate persons for review if it is electronic. Or am I just looking for excuses?

Thanks in advance for any advice and insight you can share.

I was watching MTVs 22 Best MCs of All Time special with Fab Five Freddy (I can’t believe Mr. Braithwaite still has a job). The results were picked by the viewing audience:

The entire list follows. Boo.

22. Chuck D
21. Method Man
20. Queen Latifah
19. LL Cool J
18. Foxy Brown
17. Common
16. Snoop Dogg
15. KRS-ONE
14 Run-DMC
13 DMX
12 Nelly
11. Big Pun
10. Missy Elliot
9. Beastie Boys
8. Lil Kim
7. Dr. Dre
6. Rakim
5. Jay-Z
4. Nas
3. Eminem
2. Biggie
1. Tupac

Apparently if you are a really good MC, someone will kill you. This is bass ackwards in spots (how on earth can anyone say with a straight face that Nelly is a better MC than KRS-One or Method Man or… anyone for that matter?).

Off the top of my head MCs that are better than half the people on this list include

Posdnuos & Dave (nee Trugoy) (De La Soul)
Q-tip (Tribe Called Quest)
Andre 3000 and Big Boi (Outkast)
Cee-lo (Goodie Mob)
Black Thought (The Roots)
Easy E (I don’t think he’s top 22, but he is better than some of the tripe on this list)
Del The Funky Homosapien
Slick Rick
Special Ed

I am leaving out many, but you get the point.

Boo.

Speaking of poetry… This line from Robert Hass’ poem Meditation at Lagunitas is truly inspired.

Longing, we say, because desire is full / of endless distances.

Heidi has just posted a wonderful reflection on the joy she gets from reading the perfect phrase. She writes:

but there are some turns of phrase that are so elegant, so well-crafted that reading it is in some way like getting a wasabi hit (or, for that matter, like raising your hand for the first time in class). Before your intellect can catch up with what it means, it hits the primal center.

It is the last sentence that really hit me. When I am looking to buy a new book of poetry, I grab several authors that are unfamiliar to me off the shelf and read one poem from each. I only read the poem once, without analysis, and then choose one. It is the sound, and feel of the words that grab me: Before the intellect can catch up. I believe that a beautifully crafted sentence, can convey much of its meaning, through sound and word choice, and a host of other devices, before the subject matter is even interpreted by the brain. I find it most often in poetry, after reading Heidi’s post, apparently it can found in the law too…

Professor Yin wonders what will become of the Fastow kids since both of their parents have been sentenced to the bing for their roles in the Enron scandal. While I am sure that Lea and Andy will end up spending their time in a palatial clink, it will be a clank nonetheless.

It looks like Lea is going to do her bid while Andy takes the reins at home. Then Lea is going to tag Andy in. I can just see Andy now…

Mommy is staying at a nice hotel for a few months. She’s away on “business.” In fact, When mommy gets back, I will be going away on “business” too. Mommy gets a nicer hotel though.

While I cannot say I am surprised, I am disheartened by Carol Moseley Braun’s withdrawal from the Presidential race. Much Respect. I can’t tell you how much of a difference her presence on the stage at Presidential debates will make in the lives of young black women. I can only hope that one of my classmates decides to follow in her foot steps in the near future.

There is a woman sitting in front of me in class drinking San Pelligrino. Now that is classy.

Is there anyone that does not like “Hey Ya?” That chorus is down right infectious.

Now that the Rover has landed, does the United States own Mars?

Why doesn’t Blogger.com’s spell check recognize the term blog? More importantly, why does Blogger.com’s spell check refuse to learn the word when I click the “learn” button? Is there some other term that the blog community prefers to be referred to as? Blog-American?

I have decided that, this semester, I am going to read a blog focusing on each of my class topics. I hope that the outside reading might give me some additional context, or at the very least, keep the material interesting. I plan on reading Punishment Theory for Criminal (unless someone can point me to a better choice). I haven’t been able to find a blog on property yet. I am about to embark on a search for an administrative/regulatory blog now. My class focuses on the work place.

Please comment, or email me if you have any suggestions. Thanks.

The Washington Post has a report on the final Debate prior to the Iowa caucauses.

According to the Post:

The debate, sponsored by MSNBC and dubbed the “Black and Brown Forum,” was designed to give emphasis to the concerns of minorities — a small percentage of the electorate here though among the most loyal Democratic constituencies nationwide. Dean said the “biggest challenge” facing minorities “is to help white audiences understand the plight of minority populations when it comes to race.”

Ok… first, who dubbed it the “Black and Brown Forum.” MSNBC? The candidates? I hope to God MSNBC didn’t actually make banners that said “Black and Brown Forum 2004″

And I can think of a few bigger challenges facing black folks than explaining to white folks what is wrong with this country when it comes to race.

I can see Dean standing up there and saying:

The problem is, you see, you all just haven’t been able to articulate to us - and by us I mean everyone on this stage except Carol and Reverend - what exactly is wrong. If you all can find a way to communicate the problems, I am sure we can fix it.

Sorry Heidi, your man is making me nervous.

I just attempted to look up the word “manucaption” on Dictionary.com and got the following message:

( P ) manucaption: log in for this definition of manucaption and other entries in Webster’s Millennium™ Dictionary of English, available only to Dictionary.com Premium members.

Now, how you gonna hold back a definition? I’m doing the right thing, getting an education, decided to look up this word for a more precise definition than I could gather from the usage, you know… for my own edification, and Dictionary.com wants me to buy the definition.

We’ll give you the definition to the words you already know, but those old and rare words… You gotta pay for those!

That’s messed up Dictionary.com. Why you gotta be like that. I am switching to OED. After all, it is “The definitive record of the English language”

I am taking notes on my crim reading and I just referred to a hypothetical defendant as “he/she”. I like that we have begun questioning the use of the male pronoun when referring to one who’s gender is unspecified or unknown. I have been surprised by the lack of the use of “he” in this regard since attending law school. My contracts professor refused to use “he” at all in his lectures choosing instead to use “she” in every hypothetical. He did it quite purposely, I assume, to avoid criticism. It seemed so forced when he did it, however.

But I found it odd and amusing that, I subconsciously decided that since I didn’t know the gender, I had to refer to the defendant as a hybrid “he/she” even for the purpose of notetaking. Notes, which presumably, will never be read by another human being. I suppose it is good that gender equality is imprinted on my brain. But I found it odd that I could not, even for the purpose of shorthand, alone in this room, just type “he” and keep going…

This is my life. The luster has worn off and I can see it it for all of its dull and unvarnished essence. I don’t think I have ever had a more difficult time reading 10 typewritten pages in my entire life. This is going to be a long semster.

I thought I was done with personal statements for the rest of my life before I applied to law school. And after I completed that task, which I assure you almost killed me, I celebrated the fact that I would never have to do it again. But here I am, applying for a fellowship and I have to write another one.

I find myself wanting to submit a one line personal statement with a link to my blog. Isn’t that precisely what a blog is - a personal statement? I am certain it will provide them with more insight into what motivates me and makes me tick. It would save me time and they would get a better understanding of who I really am. Win win as far as I can tell. But instead I am gong to sit here and attempt to sound sincere as I sell myself in one page.

I wish that the review committee was open to the idea of reading my blog in lieu of a personal statement. Maybe they are… but I am going to play it safe and follow the rules this time.

I found the following poem written on the back of a dinner check. I wrote it down several months ago when I read it in a New Yorker my friend had. I remember thinking it was wonderful. Now, while I like it, I don’t feel overwhelmed by it. I wonder what about my life then, made this poem resonate so strongly. Anyway, here it is.

Serenade
by Kevin Young

I wake to the cracked plate
of moon being thrown
across the room -
that’ll fix me
for trying to sleep.
Lately even night
has left me -
now even the machine
that makes the rain
has stopped sending
the sun away.
It is late,
or early depending -
who’s to say.
Who’s to name
these ragged stars, this
light that waters
down the insomniac dark
before I down
it myself.
Sleep, I swear
there’s no one else -
raise me up
in the near-night
& set me like
a tin toy to work,
clanking in the bare
broken bright.

Note: I am unsure if “clanking” in the next to last line is correct. My handwriting is not the best.