I didn’t see the game, but it sounds like it was an ominous start to the Browns season. If I wasn’t such a fan, the antics below probably would have been hilarious.

The Browns imploded shortly after kickoff.

On their first fourth down, newly signed Cleveland punter Paul Ernster let the snap slip through his hands before scrambling to get off a 15-yarder.

Cleveland was whistled for four infractions — two holds, an illegal formation and having a man downfield — on the play and the Steelers scored moments later when Roethlisberger hit Hines Ward on a 5-yarder.

The romp was on.

“I’d like to think we got the bad one out of our system,” said Browns wide receiver Joe Jurevicius.

(via Yahoo Sports)

My favorite quote so far about James’ performance last night:

No matter the words, James’ Game 5 may be the sort of stuff that saves leagues. You can almost hear the advertisements now: “Can the best player in the world beat the best team in the world? The Finals … Thursday at 9.”

I am still a bit shocked at how it happened, but welcome home Mr. Quinn.

File this one under obsessive. Brian Jones recently bought the house used for the exterior shots in “A Christmas Story” in Cleveland for $150,000.

How did he get the $150,000? By manufacturing and selling the “leg lamp” depicted in the movie.

Leg Lamp

He then went frame by frame and transformed the interior of the house to match the set of the movie (at a cost of $240,000). He now offers guided tours of the house and transformed a house across the street into a gift shop. 4,300 people came out for the opening day. Jones expects 50,000 people per year to visit the house.

Only in Cleveland.

I attempted to fly from Cleveland to New York out of Cleveland’s lesser airport. Having never been to this airport, I got lost and missed my flight. I am glad I did because I got to experience the wonder that is the Akron-Canton airport.

A few highlights:

No line at the check in counter.

No line at the security check point.

Free (and fast) wireless throughout the entire airport (and lots of electrical sockets!)

Arby’s is opening a location next to my gate.

I will be flying out of here from here on out (assuming I can find my way here again).

“Do you want me to go in and order while you wait with Cosmo?” the teenager asked her friend who had already sat down at an outdoor table. She was fidgeting with the dog’s collar and cooing in baby talk.

No response.

The girl rolls her eyes and enters the coffee shop.

After a few minutes she reemerges, straddling the doorway.

“Do they still take two-dollar bills?”

Her friend isn’t paying attention.

“Amy!” she barks. “Do they still take two-dollar bills?”

Amy looks up, exasperated.

“Duh Katie… like… they HAVE to.”

Katie rolls her eyes again, and enters the store to make her purchase.

Two guys at the coffee shop, laptops open, looking for jobs.

Guy One: Oh… here’s one. “Do you enjoy dining on haute cuisine?”

Guy Two: What’s that mean?

Guy One: I dunno. If I knew words like that I’d have a job already!

Bill Waterson is releasing The Complete Calvin and Hobbes, a 1,456-page behemoth containing every panel ever published. It is three volumes. I must have it.

Calvin and Hobbes was magnificent, however, the Boondocks is sublime.

Update:

The Comic-Strip Revolution Will Be Televised Write up about Boondocks, the animated series, in the New York Times.

The Indians just lost the wildcard spot. As I mentioned here, we are used to this.

But this is just pitiful:

“Cleveland fans will look back and remember the clutch hits that never came despite countless chances in the past few days. The Indians went just 7-for-56 (.125) with runners in scoring position in the final seven games — five of them one-run losses.”

via cbs.sportsline.com

I was curious to find out what the former Mayor of Cleveland, Michael White, has been up to since he decided not to run for reelecton last time around. I figured he had taken a job at Jones Day, or Squires, Sanders & Dempsey or had landed at a large not for profit like the Cleveland Foundation. I googled him but couldn’t find any useful or timely information regarding his whereabouts.

I finally resorted to emailing my parents, figuring they might have read something in the local papers about his latest gig.

Momma got back to me quickly:

From: Momma
To: Michael Oliver, Pops
Date: May 4, 2005 1:14 PM
Subject: Re: Where in the world is Mike White?

An Alpaca