I have been silent here for the last week or so because I was running the gauntlet that is the apartment hunt in New York City.
I started my search in the West Village where I have lived for the last three years with a roommate. I wanted a one bedroom. I quickly came to learn that brokers in the West Village use the term “bedroom” loosely, referring to any nook or cranny that isn’t a bathroom, living room, or kitchen. I saw a “one bedroom” on my favorite block in Manhattan (Leroy Street and 7th Avenue) that literally didn’t have room for my bed (I have a full size mattress).
“Was it too much,” I thought, “to be able to live in a place where one could actually wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” There was no such thing, it seemed, as a “side of the bed” (at least in my price range). In Manhattan there were only feet. Every apartment I saw in the Village required a running start and ended with a vault onto the mattress. There was no other way to enter the bedroom. I don’t know how one makes a bed in Manhattan. It must be difficult to pull off without being able to stand next to the bed.
I decided that, perhaps, I could get a large studio in my price range. Sure I would have no living room, but at least I could get out of my bed on either side. I was presented with “steals” for $1600 - $1800 dollars where I could indeed get out of bed on either side. But I would rarely be getting out of bed since there was no room for any other furniture. In these studios, the bed would become my couch, my kitchen table.
At night I drempt of my life after starting work. In my dream I would enter the apartment, loosen my tie, grab a beer from the fridge, and with a sigh, sink into a plush couch and put my feet up. I woke up feeling relaxed. Then it dawned on me that, in the real world, I wasn’t looking at anything even approximating my dream.
That day, I got up and headed for Brooklyn.
I went to Cobble Hill, I suppose, because it was the only neighborhood I really knew in Brooklyn. I felt comfortable the moment I stepped of the train. There were coffee shops everywhere. There were two movie theaters within walking distance, and there were families walking around everywhere. I dropped in on 6 brokers in my first day. Most of the brokers had little or nothing to show. I saw an apartment I would have been glad to take, but I was scooped by a woman who surely holds the world record in paperwork gathering. I thought I was prepared, but was no match for my foe who produced the laundry list below seemingly out of the ether:
- copy of social security card
- 2004 and 2005 W2s
- 2004 and 2005 1040s
- Last three cancelled rent checks
- Last Verizon bill
- Last ConEd Bill
- Letter of employment
Three days, ten apartments, and some tired feet later, I found myself first in line to apply for an apartment that met what I had originally thought were my reasonable expectations. As I was filling out the paperwork (and paying an application fee to ensure that no one else would be shown the apartment) a young man entered the broker’s office to inquire about an incredibly inexpensive one bedroom he heard was available in the eneighborhood (his friend lived in the building). She smiled, said sorry, and pointed toward me.
He looked dejected. I wanted to put my arm around him like the 6 year old chess prodigy did in Searching for Bobby Fisher and say, “don’t worry, you are a much stronger player than I was at your age.”
Yesterday, I got the apartment.
Brooklyn, here I come.